


Foreplay

by telperion_15



Category: Primeval
Genre: Epistolary, Established Relationship, Foreplay, M/M, Sarcasm, Tongue Lashings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/telperion_15/pseuds/telperion_15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lester has to take Ryan to task over a few things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foreplay

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written as a birthday fic for bigtitch, for the prompt 'Lester/Ryan with a bit of snark'.

“Captain, please could you explain to me why your report on Tuesday’s anomaly is only three paragraphs long?”  
  
“It was a quiet one, sir. Nothing much to report.”  
  
“And yet Mr. Temple has managed to produce a report that is eight _pages_ long. I am most disappointed in you, Captain. Please redo it before the end of the day.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
From: T.Ryan@homeoffice.gov.uk  
To: J.Lester@homeoffice.gov.uk  
Date: 18/05/2011  
Time: 10:38  
Subject: Revised report  
Attachment: report.doc  
  
Dear Sir,  
  
Please find attached a revised version of my report on the Tuesday anomaly. I hope it meets your requirements.  
  
Best wishes,  
  
Captain Ryan  
  
  
From: J.Lester@homeoffice.gov.uk  
To: T.Ryan@homeoffice.gov.uk  
Date: 18/05/2011  
Time: 10:47  
Subject: Re: Revised report  
  
Dear Captain,  
  
Making your report longer by coming up with fifty-four creative ways to repeat ‘nothing much happened’ is not acceptable either.  
  
Try again.  
  
J. Lester  
  
  
From: T.Ryan@homeoffice.gov.uk  
To: J.Lester@homeoffice.gov.uk  
Date: 18/05/2011  
Time: 10:49  
Subject: Re: Revised report  
  
Dear Sir,  
  
Yes, sir.  
  
Best wishes,  
  
Captain Ryan  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
“Captain, I have to tell you that I have received a complaint about you.”  
  
“What is the nature of this complaint, sir?”  
  
“Professor Cutter claims that you punched him. _Again_.”  
  
“He wasn’t doing what he was told, sir.”  
  
“Which was…?”  
  
“To keep away from the anomaly, sir.”  
  
“And you could not come up with any means of enforcing your instructions apart from punching him? _Again?_ ”  
  
“It seemed to work quite well last time, sir.”  
  
“I’m afraid this really will not do, Captain. You will apologise to the professor at once, and under no circumstances employ physical force on his person again. As much as he might deserve it.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
“Captain, who gave you permission to give Mr. Temple a shooting lesson?”  
  
“I thought it would be a good idea, sir.”  
  
“You thought it would be a good idea to give someone who can barely walk in a straight line, and has all the accuracy of a hyperactive ferret, training in the use of projectile weaponry?”  
  
“Well, yes, sir. I thought it would be better if he had the basics, rather than letting him pick up a gun without knowing a thing.”  
  
“And did the alternative not occur to you, Captain?”  
  
“What alternative, sir?”  
  
“Not letting him pick up a gun _in the first place!_ ”  
  
“Ah. Yes, sir.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
“Captain, what is the meaning of this?”  
  
“Of what, sir?”  
  
“This requisition form for twenty – _twenty_ – crates of gun oil.”  
  
“It would be unfortunate if we ran low, sir.”  
  
“With this much, Captain, we could all start swimming in it.”  
  
“We do seem to get through it quickly, sir. I thought it best to err on the side of caution.”  
  
“Unfortunately, our budget is incompatible with your idea of caution. If the situation is really that problematic, I suggest you start rationing it out. Your men will just have to be more careful about the uses to which they put it.”  
  
“Yes, sir.”  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
They were barely through the door of Lester’s flat before Ryan grabbed him and pushed him against the wall, kissing him without waiting for permission.  
  
“Careful, Captain, this suit cost more than your salary for a month,” Lester said mildly when he was allowed to, determined not to betray the effect Ryan’s kiss had had on him, knowing how much his calm manner would rile the other man.  
  
“I’ve been waiting to get you out of that suit all day,” Ryan growled in response. “Every time you gave me one of your tongue-lashings I could feel myself getting hard.”  
  
“How disappointing. That was not the reaction I was aiming for.”  
  
“Sorry, _sir_ ,” Ryan replied, not looking it in the least. “Although you’re most welcome to give me another one any time you like.”  
  
The expression on his face implied, however, that he was thinking of a tongue-lashing of a rather different kind now.  
  
Lester pretended to consider, and then shook his head. “I think not. I think I’ve done quite enough of the work today. It’s time for you show some penitence, I believe.”  
  
To his credit, Ryan caught on immediately. “Yes, sir. I’m sure I can be _very_ penitent, sir.”  
  
He sank to his knees, and Lester had to admonish him to be careful several times more as he undid Lester’s trousers and pulled Lester’s cock from his silk boxers.  
  
Ryan looked at the erection bobbing in front of his face and licked his lips. Then he looked slyly up at Lester.  
  
Lester realised something.  
  
He sighed. “You were doing it on purpose, weren’t you, Ryan?”  
  
Ryan licked his lips again. “I can’t imagine what you mean, sir.”  
  
“You really do have the oddest notions of foreplay, Captain.”  
  
“What can I say, sir, I really do like to feel the sharp end of your tongue.”  
  
“Yes, well, we’ve already established that you won’t be feeling it any more today. Please do feel free to start demonstrating your penitence any time now.”  
  
Ryan grinned. “ _Yes_ , sir.”


End file.
